i’m not okay at all.

and i don’t think i will be for a long time.

Crappiest week I have had in a really long time.

Just got to try to keep my head up and make my way through it.

I’m not saying you’ll be mine forever.

But I can hope right?

11/25/12

I really love my boyfriend. I know all high school girls say that, but I really do. He is just simply amazing. I truly believe that he is the smartest, sexiest, nicest, funniest person I know. For some reason he doesn’t see that but he really is. He is just so fantastic and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, it’s only been three months but he means the world to me. I love being around him. He just makes me so happy. Ima happy girl<3

One day you’ll meet a guy. And ultimately, he’s going to find out. How you chew, how you sip, how you dance, how you smell at every point in the day. The fact that most of your friends are shallow. How your face looks underneath all your makeup. How you love chocolate, how you can be hyper at times, how certain games and shows make you really happy. How cranky you can get when you’re tired, how you think you look bad in all your Facebook photos. He’s going to know everything about you. And you know what? He’s still going to love you.

I am sorry that I am not perfect. I am sorry that I get B’s on my report cards. I am sorry that I just want to get away sometimes. I am sorry that the fact that I love Jason is hard for you. I am sorry I am growing up. I am sorry that I do not need you for everything anymore. I am sorry that we do not always get along. I am sorry that I upset you. I am sorry you upset me. I am sorry that I do not want to live under the same roof anymore. I am just sorry.

I can’t sleep.

Why does my mother care about my well being? I know this is a good thing but I would really just like to be at Jason’s house in the warmness and safety of this arms; then maybe I could get some sleep. John Mayer’s lovely voice just isn’t doing the trick tonight. I need cuddles and kisses and love. Feeling kinda sick to. God damnit.